?A Lady, about 25 years of age, who has been flattered with the idea of possessing an agreeable person and who, without any flattery at all, is in the actual possession of an independent fortune, solicits the attention of any young gentleman of birth, education and personal consequence. The ill usage of her relations has obliged her to separate from them; and they, in revenge, not only employ their utmost malice to disturb her repose but threaten prosecutions to deprive her of her fortune. ?Any such Gentleman, therefore, who will stand forth as her protector, to save her from the tyranny of her family on the one hand and the impositions of lawyers on the other, shall be rewarded with the object he has protected and the fortune he has preserved. Letters addressed for Eleanora, at Mr Materius?s, Charing Cross, will have due attention.? this was unusual, for the vast majority of women who placed lonely hearts ads in the 18th century were widows, orphans or in some other sort of dire straits. very few options were available to women at the time, so marriage was often the only route to financial security. as a result, all they looked for in a prospective husband was money (or ?income?, ?property? or a ?fortune? in the language of the ads).

Marriage was women?s only route to security

Britain?s first lonely hearts ad appeared as early as 1695 in a popular magazine called A Collection For Improvement of Husbandry and Trade; it was placed by a ?Gentleman about 30 Years of Age, that says he had a very good Estate? who sought a ?Good Young Gentle- woman that has a Fortune of 3,000 pounds or thereabouts?. in the ensuing years, as the newspaper and magazine industry flourished so did ads, even though placing one cost between two and three shillings and so was an option only for the middle and upper classes. THE above ?Gentleman? is typical in the premium he places on youth in his search for a wife. to most, the ideal age was between 20 and 30. Other adjectives commonly used by advertisers to describe their perfect woman included ?respectable?, ?agreeable?, ?accomplished? and ?domestic?.

A gentleman in the Daily Advertiser in 1750 hoped for a wife with ?good teeth, soft lips, sweet breath… neat in her person, her bosom full, plump, firm and white; a good understanding without being a wit, but cheerful and lively in conversation, polite and delicate of speech…? most, however, were far more vague about physical features, seeking only ?a pleasing figure? or even just specifying ?of no bodily deformity?. Conversely, an ad in the Shoreditch Observer in 1863 stated its case in the simplest of terms: ?Marriage. The advertiser wishes to meet with a young woman who has but one leg?. Many were just after money: ?A young man wants a wife with two or three hundred pounds; or the money will do with- out the wife: whoever will advance it shall have five per cent,? was an ad that appeared in the Daily Advertiser in 1759. others were more practical in their demands, like the gentleman who in 1770 declared that he was keen to get hitched because he ?finds it inconvenient to leave his house to servants?. in 1788, the Hibernian Telegraph printed an extraordinary offer from a ?gentleman advanced in years, who is possessed of a considerable fortune, the apparent heir to which (a graceless nephew) has treated him in a manner unpardonable…? in retaliation at the way his nephew had behaved, he announced that he ?would be glad to enter into the connubial state with a healthy pregnant widow, of a reputation unsullied, however contracted her sphere of life be?. But were any of these ads successful? if they were, the participants kept it a secret and so no records survive. Many cautionary tales appeared in the newspapers, such as one in the Leeds Mercury in 1843 about: ?An unlucky man, who, in order to get a family by a deceased wife taken care of, had been induced to marry a worthless drunken woman, through the medium of a matrimonial advertisement.? On the other hand, in 1857 newspapers all over the country trumpeted the tale of the Tyne- side man who had advertised for a wife in a Midlands newspaper, gone on ?a tour of inspection? of a selection of the 50-60 women who replied, and ended up marrying one ?with whom he fell in love at first sight.? The Matrimonial News, which was established in 1870, was the first newspaper to be dedicated solely to Lonely Hearts ads. Placing an ad cost sixpence for 40 words and clients included a land agent in Yorkshire, a colliery manager in Wales, a civil servant in India, a draper, a surgeon, a chemist and a governess. Their backgrounds were so varied that the newspaper received a stream of letters demanding to know whether they were genuine. The launch of the Matrimonial News was followed by the Marriage Gazette, the Matrimonial Times and many similar titles. By 1900, there were no fewer than 20 weekly or monthly newspapers made up entirely of lonely hearts ads. The 20th century saw many more changes in the role of lonely hearts ads in British society. For example, the outbreak of the First World War resulted in a new kind of ad: the lonely soldier ad, in part pioneered by the Daily Express. in 1915 it ran a story about one Private AC White of the 1st Rifle Brigade ? ?the lone- liest man at the front? ? who was in search of female penpals to brighten up his existence. The response was enormous: White received 470 letters in two days. MUCH more recently, the internet has resulted in an explosion in the number of people advertising for love. since online ads tend not to be charged by the word, space constraints no longer apply, hence there are more and longer ads than before. Online dating has become mainstream and socially acceptable. Online ads show that what men look for in a woman and what women look for in a man has changed little over the past three centuries. The general rule is that men seek youth and offer financial security, while for women it is precisely the other way around. Ads placed in the 21st century, however, reveal a small but signifi- cant shift in these preferences. Now that women are able to have chil- dren later in life, youth is not such a priority for men when choosing a partner (though physical attrac- tiveness remains top of their list). and for women, financial security is no longer quite so important due to their own increased earning power, as well as to the rise in voluntary childlessness. Women are also becoming pickier, typically demanding that their opposite numbers meet a far longer list of criteria than they once did. Lonely hearts ads in 2012 are as popular as they were 300 years ago ? and for the exactly same reasons. With many of us living far from home and essentially rootless, we can no longer rely on meeting our future husband or wife through friends, family or even work col- leagues, hence alternative strate- gies are required. most of us want someone with whom to share our life: ?Disgusted with the lawless unsettled state of celibacy? (1780) was one lament; ?Tired of domestic solitude? (1838) was another. if this sounds like you, do not despair. it is a problem that has existed ever since the huge growth in Britain?s urban popula- tion in the late 17th century, and is no doubt one that will continue. ● Shapely Ankle Preferr?d by Francesca Beauman is out now in paperback.

HISTORY OF THE LONELY HEARTS

Tags: revenge, tyranny

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