Never touch My fountain pen

Do not use MY fountain pen!

I am not unlike many others… I have a certain fountain pen I use that I consider Mine and only Mine. It isn’t an expensive Namiki, or a Cross pen… it’s a simple straight forward Parker Duofold fountain pen. But it is MY pen, and that’s the whole story.

For years I’ve carried a stainless steel Parker Duofold pen. I will not lend it to you, or even to My mother, unless I am standing there watching, and make sure I get it back. I know… it’s an object and can be replaced, but I am anal-retentive when it comes to My pen.

I don’t know or remember when I became so anal about My pen. I did for years keep with Me a brown and silver fountain pen, but went through a “pen identity” crisis. I was searching for the perfect pen. I tried Cross pens, but found them too thin, and the black ones I liked wore off the finish too easily, leaving Me with a tiger striped ugly pen. The prohibitive cost of near 20 dollars for the pen was another deciding factor, and went to using cheap BIC Click pens. They were cheap, and wrote fairly well, but left me wanting something better. I wanted a pen I could see across the room, and identify the thief who stole it on me.

Then one day I stumbled upon the Parker. It was silver, brushed from what I could see, and it was as unique as a 2 legged fish. I knew right then and there. I had found MY pen. I bought my first one and quickly while in the car, unwrapped it. It felt fat at first, but it wrote like I had always wanted a pen to write. No more twisting the cap as I had to when using the Cross pen. nope, this one had a pushbutton, like all pens should. I firmly believe if you need to twist the pen to get it to work… you probably twist the cap off a Starbucks soy latte too… and we all know what that means if you have had a soy latte on your lips, if you don’t know and want to… see the blog about “The Man Test”. I didn’t like having to use two hands to get a simple object like a pen to function. I want to push the little button, write, click, and put the damn pen away.

Unfortunately, I lost that first pen. I went on a hunt for a replacement. I was heartbroken when I couldn’t find one right away. They were that unique. I searched WorldLux, Pendomium, Pen Hospital, Walmart… no pen. Just as I was about to give up and go back to another lesser quality writing instrument… I happened upon one of my pens… while walking the aisles at the local Office Depot. They had just stocked the shelves and there was MY pen! I grabbed the two that they had, and whisked them off to the check out counter. I was as happy as I could be. I not only found a replacement for My poor lost pen, I had found a replacement in case I lost the replacement.

I have handed My pen to people to write or sign something with, but I will not let it out of My sight. I have been known to accidentally leave it with someone and drive back there either the same day or the next day, regardless of the distance I had to travel… just to get back MY pen…

After all, it is MY pen. I’m not completely anal about everything that’s Mine… mostly just My pen. I will watch the use of My fountain pen, and chase down anyone who tries to keep it on me.

I’m paranoid about many things, and have no clue why… I’m especially anal about MY pen… and being on time.

I’ve already decided when I die… I had better be on time for My funeral… and I damn well better have my fountain pen with me if either of those wishes aren’t honored… I didn’t think so…. just don’t ask to use MY FOUNTAIN PEN!

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